A Tribute
Training to become a teacher was without doubt the hardest year of my life. I went from a carefree 25 year old teaching assistant, with little responsibility, the ability to finish school at 2:30pm and leave work in the staff room with no need to even think about it before arriving back a glorious eighteen hours later, to attending university lectures and seminars, preparing and delivering presentations, long commutes to teaching placements, new systems, new names to learn, lesson planning, teaching for the first time - the list goes on. It was a shock to the system to say the least but one that undoubtedly challenged me enormously, pushed me to my limits and made me realise what hard work really looks like. And I was prepared for it in the cognitive sense - from the research that I had done and from speaking to teachers that I knew, I definitely didn’t expect an easy ride. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional toll that working in education would take. And whilst I grew so much from my time in the classroom, there are certain things that you experience that nothing can prepare you for.
Last week was an important anniversary for me and as a result I’ve been thinking a lot about loss. Loss of anything is without doubt one of the hardest things to go through but loss of a young person that you care about is deeply traumatic and sadly something that I experienced in my training year.
I had been working as a Learning Support Assistant in a local comprehensive, part of my plan to see if I liked working in schools prior to applying for teacher training. As it turned out I loved it within an hour of setting foot in the building. Having not been in a secondary school for close to ten years the vibrancy and life that bounced off the walls and echoed round the classrooms was intoxicating. But this was very unexpected. As I have talked about in a number of posts, I didn’t love my own time at secondary school and I was dubious about the prospect of revisiting one in a position of responsibility. If I’m entirely honest I didn’t think that I would last very long and expected to abandon the idea of teacher training pretty quickly. But outcomes surprise us all sometimes and my love for being back in a school was one very unexpected plot twist.
One of the biggest reasons for my positive experience in this role was the young people who were put in my care. As a Learning Support Assistant you are assigned pupils who need additional help either with accessing work or managing their behaviour in the classroom, to work with throughout the year. Generally you support the same young people in many of their lessons over the course of the week so as a result you very quickly develop bonds, spending much time together.
Che was one half of a double act who I will remember forever. Along with his best friend Lemar, I was assigned to support him in a number of his lessons. The pair were in Year 9, the classic year of difficult behaviour and surging hormones and I rocked up, bright eyed and optimistic to a quick realisation that I had my work cut out for me! They were a real baptism of fire when it came to behaviour management but not one that I would never want to change. It was a challenging job but also one of the most rewarding, fulfilling and entertaining ones I have ever had the pleasure of being assigned. At times it was like being the only member of the audience at a comedy stand up gig as I would patiently wait outside classrooms during their much needed time outs as they would engage in games and play fights - they were both very smart and switched on but they just loved having fun. However the pair never failed to put a smile on my face because these were two very special boys. Che was the more studious of the two, always encouraging Lemar to complete his work which, at times, could be tricky! I remember vividly having to bargain with Lemar to come down off the desk in the classroom where he was very much enjoying a dance, with no regard for the fact that we were in a Maths class. It was Che who eventually managed to convince him to get down after numerous unsuccessful attempts on my part. The support and love that he showed his friends was just one of the many traits that made him so lovely.
When I started the job I was informed about Che’s condition by a colleague and I can remember being shocked that such an energetic and high spirited pupil could be suffering as he was. That was one of the many amazing qualities about Che - despite all that he was going through he always continued to move forward with all of his wonderful warmth. Heartbreakingly, he had an aggressive cancer which was gradually taking hold of him and whilst there was a brief period when he got a little better, his health then deteriorated. I spent eighteen months in my assistant role before leaving for my teacher training, due to return the following September to complete my qualifying year back at the same school. Sadly during my first term away, he lost his battle with cancer. Hearing the news hit me hard and has been the saddest of all my days working in education.
The irony of this tragedy is that Che was all life.
His funeral was a deeply moving one. His family had decided on an open casket, an experience that was difficult but provided the privilege of being able to see his lovely face for the last time. He looked peaceful and dignified and to see the impact he had clearly had on so many people was beautiful. The small church in South London was spilling out into the road as people tried to find a nook or corner to be able to pay their respects to this wonderful young man. Family, friends, teachers, fellow church goers and the many others whose life he touched came out in full force to bestow love and prayer on Che and his family. This was a boy who was truly adored.
So this post is for you Che. You were a wonderful, kind and vibrant young man, taken from us too soon. But I know that you will be bringing life and laughter and looking out for all those around you where you are now, as you always did.