Legacies of Love
It has been just over two weeks since I left my teaching job to begin a self indulgent year of adventure and actioning creative projects which ten years of full time teaching has caused to fall by the wayside. Not the ideal timing given that the opportunity for travel is now pretty non existent, but still, we move.
The last few weeks of school certainly had their challenges - mainly emotional. There were many goodbyes, mostly done via the all too familiar Zoom dystopia which heightened the challenges immensely. Coming to the end of the best job I have ever had was never going to be easy, but doing so in this deeply anticlimactic manner has been far from ideal.
First, we said goodbye to some amazing staff members who had planned their departure from school mid year, pre-covid. It felt very odd doing so to a three inch squared box on a computer screen but there was the unexpected advantage of being able to subtly hide any spontaneous blubbering with a tactical switch of your video function to off whilst blaming your poor connection (one that I took full advantage of during my leaving speech.)
Next, we had to say goodbye to our Year 13s - this was exceptionally tough. If you have read my other posts you will know how precious my own experience of Sixth Form was including the time that comes immediately after leaving. There is something so magical about the summer after you finish your A Levels or equivalent qualification. End of exam celebrations, graduation, prom, the prospect of a summer of complete freedom whether that involves travel or something equally as enticing - it is just so full of possibility. Plus let’s not forget that it is the longest period of continuous holiday that you ever have in your adult life! So knowing that ‘Rona had denied them of all of these experiences made me very sad. Fortunately for the students, without the understanding that comes from experience, they won’t quite realise the extent of what they are missing.
Then came the time to bid farewell to our Year 12s - this was also very challenging. Particularly as these are young people who I have grown so fond of in the six short months that Covid allowed us in the classroom together and who I now feel as though I have been on a real journey with. Never again will I have the experience that we have just shared - being so physically distant but feeling more connected than ever. The further blow is that I won’t be teaching them again as I have now left my job and it is difficult not to feel sad about it. Fortunately, when the final day of term came, staff were permitted to go to the school building for a socially distanced goodbye drinks and this was perfection and just what I needed to bring back some joy to counteract the nostalgia.
As I will quite possibly not work as a full time teacher again I have spent much of the past week reflecting on what I hope my legacy from teaching will be. I certainly hope that I made some impact on the young people who have been in my care over the course of my career but when thinking about what I hope I have left them with I have the overwhelming feeling that it is less about my subject and more about my approach to life. Of course I hope that the students I have taught will have found a love for books, plays, poetry, writing, words and everything else that we have studied together but more than that I hope that they have taken from me the belief that all things are best done from a place of love and empathy. That has been my mantra for a long time and whilst I would be lying if I pretended that in the past I haven’t been taken advantage of for being too soft or a walkover - either at work or in my personal life, it is still something that I wouldn’t want to change. Aiming to always come from a place of love does not mean that I don’t have strong opinions and it does not mean that I won’t call both myself and others out for problematic words, choices or behaviour. But it also means that I try to be purposeful and kind in my approach to everything. And I hope some of my students will aspire to do the same. Because in light of what the world is currently being exposed to, at times it feels like from all angles, love and kindness are more important than ever.
The college where I have taught for the past five years is, amongst other things, heavily focused on music. It was born six years ago as a music industry academy and has since grown and evolved, now teaching courses in Film and Television Production and Games Design. Born and bred in the East End there is a natural affiliation between the college and Grime music - geographically we are in the heart of the birthplace of Grime, one of our founders, a successful musician has collaborated with many incredible Grime artists in his career so far and we have Kano, one of the founding fathers of Grime music as one of our college ambassadors. I myself am a big fan of Grime music and was even fortunate enough to interview Brit Award winning Grime MC Stormzy in 2019 at the college for an invaluable masterclass that he delivered to our students about the importance of community when it comes to flourishing in the creative industries. So it was with deep sadness that after a brief break from social media last week, I tuned back in to observe the bedlam that had erupted online with the tweets and posts of one of Grime music's most influential artists.
Wiley is an artist that I have loved for a LONG time. As someone in my thirties I have seen him perform many times in the early 2000s raves of London and I have, in the past, been a big fan and supporter. Additionally, one of my dearest students who left our college in 2017 and has already made considerable moves in the music industry was managing Wiley, up until a week ago. A piece of news that, when I learnt of last year, made me extremely happy. Talk about full circle - an artist who I had grown up on and watched perform at the age that my student was, now being managed by her. I felt very proud. Upon reading about what was taking place, one of the first thoughts to cross my mind was how upset I felt for the student in question, who at such a young age was being forced into the crossfire of all of this hateful energy. Not just from Wiley but from the general public and social media users who were understandably, highly emotional.
I didn’t see any of the worst Tweets as his account had already been shut down by the time I came to read about this story but I did watch some of the videos on his Instagram account. Whilst the videos are obviously very worrying, it is the comments that were more concerning. What was so visible was the extreme conflict that was emerging between people of differing views and the continued vicious language that was being used from stranger to stranger as their opinions conflicted. There were many references to Jewish people using false and damaging stereotypes. There were also many comments on the politics of Israel and Palestine (one of the reasons, it has been speculated on, for the start of Wiley’s anti-semitic posts). Now I am not pretending to be an expert on politics. And I am certainly not an expert on the long standing situation between Israel and Palestine. But to me, using the political situation to inform your views on an entire community of people is plain wrong.
There has always been a very harmful comparison between the oppression of Jewish people and the oppression of Black people which can sometimes cause conflict between these two oppressed groups. Just like the problematic acronym BAME, this comparison creates a one size fits all oppression which is both inaccurate and offensive. I will never understand what it feels like to live in the skin of either a Black person or a Jewish person in societies that continually control systems that perpetuate inequality and racism. And I know that I can be naive at times but it saddens me deeply to see conflict between two oppressed groups who I feel (naively perhaps) should be looking out for each other.
I typically don’t support comparison as I believe more often than not it is damaging. But in such severe circumstances, an analogy seems appropriate. Imagine if I was full of anger towards local wildlife poachers in Zimbabwe. If every fibre of my being detested the actions taken by those who were part of huge poaching rings, mercilessly slaughtering endangered wildlife such as the majestic elephant and prehistoric rhino. Would it be acceptable for me to automatically detest and speak ill and in a racially offensive way to all Zimbabweans? No, of course it wouldn’t. Just as it is absolutely abhorrent to do so about all Jewish people just because of personal views on wider issues relating to the Israeli Palestine conflict. Speaking up and condemning anti-semitism doesn't mean you are aligned with Israel's politics - they are different things. Yet sadly, there was much evidence of this brought on by Wiley’s posts.
What I am most fearful about in this situation is the millions of impressionable young people who were reading the horrible, anti-semitic words that Wiley and other supporters were using and were being influenced by them. Or just being impacted by the general venom that has been so visible from many people engaging with the dialogue. Because my concern, above all else, unapologetically is always the young people and their wellbeing. And being surrounded by hatred is never a good outcome.
To be clear, coming from a place of love and empathy doesn’t mean that I condone any racism, anti-semitism or prejuidice of any form. It certainly doesn’t mean that I am sympathetic towards the vile language that Wiley was using. However I do feel that for someone to behave so suddenly and violently in that way is likely a sign of something bigger. We have all seen some of the catastrophic results of overlooked mental health struggles and just I hope with all my heart that support is made available and that he engages with it.
What has taken place is also a horrible reminder of the number of racist, anti-semitic, homophobic, transphobic and sexist language that unfortunately has been worryingly visible and not called out by many people in positions of responsibility and it is simply not good enough. We need to call it ALL out and eradicate it - whether it is coming from a man, woman, the holder of an MBE, a politician or the Prime Minister. So I hope with all my heart that regardless of political views, personal support of artists or any other public figure, the young people who engage with anyone who promotes hateful or violent language remembers that when hate is loud, love must be louder.